Story Published:
Dec 6, 2009 at 8:29 AM CST
Story Updated:
Dec 12, 2010 at 4:28 PM CST
Good morning fine readers of CookevilleTimes! Today Amos, Canine Feature Writer, focuses on problem with Christmas. Season of Delicious Smells has become Season of Canine Elves in our house. Costumes for Canines? Is human obsession. Like obsession with "sit."
I devote my paws to petition for abolution of such indignities.
My Mistress says I am grump, (is true). But is hard to be taken seriously by tricky backyard squirrel with pair of antlers on head.
Is difficult to give evil eye to conniving cat with felt and bells hanging around neck.
Is downright humiliating to be seen by other canines wearing little green felt footies with red trim.
Last year, Amos walked in parade wearing elf costume. With Lights! Is so wrong.
This year, devised proactive plan. Through clever canine negotiation skills, planted idea that costumes should be shared with humans.
My People never know how I plant this clever idea -- is skill beyond human comprehension (Like bark language).
Bark language remind Amos: tell good readers to not try bark language at home. When People bark they say very embarrassing things. Canines lose respect. Is best to stick to less complex People language.
Anyway -- Amos get great results from master mind manipulation on costume issue.
On day of parade, 15 beautiful elf costumes made of green and red felt appeared for all humans to wear while walking with their canine companions behind float.
Those costumes were human equivalent of dog antlers. The humans thought they were a beautiful thing. Heh, heh, heh.
Here is best part -- Amos cleverly hid lighted elf costume. Mistress could not find at moment of Parade need. So my Mistress wear costume in parade while I wear only beautiful, natural fur. Is pure poetry. :)
Is truly moment of Christmas merriment. May your house be filled with smells of sausages and warm fires. Merry Christmas.
