In early winter 1972, I was 14 years old and Christmas was just around the corner.  The anticipation was building.  I could see myself with one of those new fangled 8-track tape players or a pair of Adidas tennis shoes.  My old bike was looking worn, and I had always lusted after a 20" purple Spyder bike with a metalflake banana seat and high-rise sissy bar located somewhere around page 457 in the Sears Catalog.  All things that a young teenage Cookeville boy would have given his right arm for in the early '70's.

As it was each year, we had our Christmas gift-giving across town at my Dad and Step Mother's on Christmas Eve (I lived with my grandparents in the shadow of  Cookeville General Hospital about two miles away).  In previous years, I had received some neat things such as a 20 gauge shot gun from Brown and Watson Sporting Goods and a new red 26" bicycle.  Other gifts through the years were purchased by my grandparents with Top Value trading stamps including a sleeping bag that I almost froze to death in with Boy Scout Troop 196 at Mammoth Cave two years earlier.  So at least in my mind, the sky was the limit.

 Some of you in my era  might recall countless hours spent thumbing through the Sears and Roebuck wish book circling items and dog-leafing pages in hopes that Santa might get the message and bring the desired gift.  Most kids today can't fathom Christmas without ebay or other online purchases.

But this was no ordinary Christmas. Little did I know it but I was soon to cross the threshold from boy to man and Santa and his helpers were keenly aware that normal childhood gifts would not suffice this year.

Finally the day came: Christmas Eve 1972. We had the usual candies and baked goods and to be honest with you, I don't remember another thing about that evening except when it came time for me to open my big gift from Santa, the package looked like none of the things that I had my heart set on.

It looked and felt like, what else but......c l o t h e s!!!    My heart sank as I lifted the package and opened it. But this wasn't just ordinary clothing. It was a.....suit!    Yuck!    And not just any suit, a L E I S U R E suit!      And not just any leisure suit, but a CUSTOM TAILORED LEISURE SUIT!!!!!!     I tried to look excited and full of joy, but I must admit it was really tough for a 14 year old to get excited about any piece of clothing much less a custom tailored leisure suit.   I had, after all,  never seen one of these in the Sears catalog or ANY sporting goods store.

I can't remember a great deal about it except it was green...puke green...about the color they used on kitchen appliances of that era. The fabric was double knit. And not just any double knit...that 3D spongy stuff that they made fat women's pant suits out of. Santa's helper must have been accustomed to making women's clothes exclusively as the buttons were about the size of a half dollar...bright, iridescent blue, which looked like they had a previous life on a pair of ladies pajamas.

The only solace that I found in my new Christmas gift was that Santa had also brought a custom made shirt to go with my new leisure suit. It was double knit also, but not the spongy 3D kind that  made the suit.   The thing that made the shirt so appealing was that the fabric was of such an up-to-date design (it had photographs printed all over it of beach sunsets in a collage). The down side was that Santa's helper had reversed the pattern when cutting out the fabric so all the sunset scenes were upside down on the shirt. Someone later pointed out to me that as I was wearing the shirt and looked down, all the scenes were right side up!

Fortunately for me, the suit, even though custom tailored to fit, was a size too large and some friends of ours who had a son about my age was visiting that night and guess what?   My custom tailored, puke green, double knit with iridescent blue buttons leisure suit Fit Him Perfectly! .... What a relief! And because he was two years younger than I, and hadn't yet begun to appreciate the finer things in life, was excited to call that wonderful suit his own and wear it from that day forward.

Alas though, all was not lost. You might think that Santa might have replaced the suit with something more desirable to a 14 year old in Cookeville. I am sorry to say he did not!    Even though my custom tailored shirt was printed upside down, I liked it so much I wore it every chance I got. Needless to say, it was very exclusive, even one of a kind!

The leisure suit has been something of a burden of Christmas past -- one that feels good to share after 37 years.    Perhaps it will inspire some earstwhile parent preparing to give a 14 year old young man the 2009 equivalent of a green leisure suit with blue pajama buttens to think before they gift -- consider the psychological scarring and potential trauma before it's wrapped. 

I'm especially thankful for this wonderful medium and the opportunity to share The Green Liesure Suit.  Merry Christmas.